Last Updated on May 26, 2022 by eidesk
I often contribute to my local radio station’s, “The Thought That Counts” slot, which is broadcast on the breakfast show and the lunchtime show over a period of a week. Each broadcast lasts about 90 seconds. My contributions are all based around some aspect of emotional intelligence. During the pandemic. I’ve concentrated on aspects of resilience and delivered these without reference to the situation allowing people to interpret them in whatever way suits them. I’ve put my contributions together as hints and tips in this podcast.
On this occasion, my reflections cover the skills and qualities of resilience covering rising to the challenge, guidance, assertiveness and confidence, external or extrinsic motivation, internal or intrinsic motivation. I hope that you enjoy the podcast and these “The Thought That Counts”. The Thought That Counts. In the story of George and the dragon, the dragon appears to be very strong and very powerful, yet despite all the odds, George is able to challenge and confront the dragon. The dragon is large and seems to be unable to be beaten. However, St George has a willingness and the stamina, with the determination, to put in the effort to rise to the challenge and deal with the situation. When you need to rise to challenging situations, here are some questions for you to consider.
What do you see as an impossible, insurmountable challenge? Why is this such a challenge for you? How will this challenge change over time? How willing are you to take on this challenge? How will you maintain your focus and stamina? What are the consequences of you not taking up this challenge? Who or what can help you? What will happen if you deal with the challenge successfully? What will happen if you don’t deal with the challenge successfully? What alternatives have you got to think about and to consider? Confidence comes naturally with success, but comes only to those who are confident . Confidence is your reward for overcoming fear. The Thought That Counts. Many people seek guidance from an external source, which gives them some comfort and some reassurance in difficult times. A guide can act by showing the way, illuminating the way forward on the journey of life. The road twists and turns with many branches.
People on the same journey are travelling along various routes. There are choices on the routes, and the guide provides clear direction. When considering guidance, what gives you comfort in your life? What guides your way forward? Who or what do you turn to in uncertain times? How do your beliefs impact upon how you live your life? How do your beliefs provide you with a source of reassurance and hope? How do your beliefs contribute to your confidence and self-esteem? How can your beliefs get in the way? What outside help do you get through others with similar beliefs? What bonds do you develop with those who share your beliefs? How can this hinder you? How does this contribute to the well-being you experience in life? Often you just have to have the guidance to lead you in the direction until you can do it yourself.
The Thought That Counts. P eople can use their influence to intimidate someone or force them to do something against their will or against their better judgement. Bullying can take on many forms which could involve provocation, intrusive behaviour, name-calling, arguments and rudeness. It can also be a lot more subtle – excluding and ignoring people and their contributions, unacceptable criticisms and overloading people with work. These behaviours can occur in the real world and they can occur online. Standing up for yourself requires confidence and assertiveness. It’s often difficult to feel confident, to be assertive in the right way and in certain circumstances. Here are some questions to help you with your assertiveness and your confidence. What situations cause you to be intimidated? In what circumstances do you do something that you don’t want to do? How regularly does this happen? Why are these circumstances difficult for you? How does this make you feel? What can you do to make yourself feel better about yourself? What needs to happen to prevent this situation from arising again? What needs to happen to give you more confidence to develop your assertiveness ? People who repeatedly attack your confidence and self-esteem are quite aware of your potential, even if you’re not. Those who judge will never understand and those who understand will never judge.
The Thought That Counts. Consider for a moment what motivates you and notice the language that you use when you think about doing something. “Should”, “Must” “Ought to “Have to” “Expected to” could all indicate that there’s an external component to your motivation. Known as extrinsic motivation, suggests that there’s something that forces you, pressurises you, coerces you, and controls you into doing something, and without this you wouldn’t do it at all. Doing something because you feel guilty if you don’t do it, or because you think it’s a good thing to do, will increase your determination in choosing to do something in response to an external motivator. Failing to do this, implies some external consequence. External motivators provide rewards and threats that drive your behaviour, but must be effectively balanced. The strange thing about these motivators is that they’re motivating, if you have enough in the right amount. You will be dissatisfied, if you don’t have enough, and when you have too much, they will be no longer be motivating, and they may even be demotivating. Rewards deliver a short term boost just like caffeine. They can keep you going for a few more hours. The effect wears off and can reduce your long term commitment to doing something. The highest reward for doing something is not what you get for it, but what you become. The Thought That Counts.
When you’re motivated to do something through an internal drive, this is known as intrinsic motivation. You’ll be using words such as “Love to” “Want to” “Will” Enjoy” and “Fun”. This language suggests that you don’t need any external stimulus to do things. You choose to do it of your own free will and out of interest. Intrinsic or internal motivation is more powerful because it rewards your inborn, psychological needs and your behaviour is driven by yourself alone. You do it because you enjoy doing it or want to do it for your own reasons, not because you think you should do it or someone else makes you do it. It’s interesting, challenging and absorbing. Intrinsic motivation inspires people to be personally interested in their work, leading to high engagement, better wellbeing, improved commitment and satisfaction. Getting this right, the motivators stimulate the reward centres in your brain, making you feel good about yourself. Your inspiration may come from many places, it’s your motivation that determines what you do. The love of life, daily drive and the will to thrive that must come from within. I’m Robin Hills from EI4Change. Empowering your Emotional Management. The Thought That Counts.
