Last Updated on May 25, 2022 by Editors Desk
I’ve been asked on a few occasions to contribute to The Thought That Counts slot on my local radio station in Greater Manchester- Bolton FM. A different The Thought That Counts is broadcast over a period of a week during the Breakfast Show at about 7.30 and again during the lunchtime show at around 1.30. Each broadcast lasts about 90 seconds.
On this occasion, my reflections cover Emotional intelligence and its Darkside, Curiosity Leading to Better Equality, Are you a Leader? Self-Awareness – Managing Thoughts, Emotions and Behaviours, Turning a Weakness into a Strength. I’ve amalgamated these hints and tips into this podcast. I hope that you enjoy it. The Thought That Counts. Recognising when a colleague or a friend feels happy, sad or angry is vital in getting along with others. This is the basis of emotional intelligence – how you combine your thinking with your feelings to develop authentic relationships and make good decisions. Emotional intelligence is useful skill to have, as long as you learn to properly cope with emotions – both yours and those of other people. Some sensitive individuals may assume responsibility for other people’s sadness or anger, which can ultimately cause some problems and stresses them out.
Remember, you’re not responsible for how other people feel. Also, emotional intelligence needs to be put to use with the right morals and values and for the right purpose. Emotional intelligence can be used to promote oneself at the cost of others, by socially manipulating others in order to achieve well known selfish ends. We’ve seen this with Adolf Hitler, Jimmy Saville, and we can see this with Donald Trump.
Used well with the right morals and values and for the right purpose, high levels of emotional intelligence can build better relationships in day to day social interactions through understanding and empathy and lead to better human interactions. For everyone, in today’s increasingly diverse and team orientated workplace, emotional intelligence can make the world a better place. The Thought That Counts. Diversity is not about gender, age, colour or religion. Diversity is about perspective and being open to the idea that people have different life experiences because of the way they grew up, because of their culture, religion, socio-economic background, whatever! The ability to work with people unlike you starts with curiosity. Curious people always ask questions and search for answers in their minds.
Their minds are always active. Since the mind is like a muscle which becomes stronger through continual exercise, the mental exercise caused by curiosity makes your mind stronger. People who think they know everything are behaving stupidly, because they lose their sense of curiosity, and believe they can’t learn anything from anyone else.
They’re determined that their way is the only way, yet can only see things one way – their way. When you use curiosity to truly seek to understand another person’s beliefs, then you can authentically examine your own assumptions and opinions. If you are genuinely curious, you are listening. And then you can decide if you will stick with your beliefs or shift your convictions. The Thought That Counts. Everyone is a leader and, even though you may not have authority or have a leadership position, you do have the ability to influence like a leader. You may think that you’re not paid to be a leader, or that you prefer to work alone and do your own thing. These thoughts limit your ability to contribute at high levels, and to be part of the successful solutions for yourself that make a difference.
The title of leader doesn’t matter as much as how you show up for work overall. With the right attitude, influential people have the ability to stay flexible and positive in their thinking and in their approach. People respond to others who set an example of positive focus – a focus on solutions and helping everyone to succeed. Being a leader is about being someone who sets examples by actions, someone who’s consistent with what they say they’re going to do.
Be a person of your word and when you fail to follow through, take ownership, apologise if appropriate, don’t blame and take action to get things back on course. A leader isn’t afraid to learn what they need to learn. Set an example of constantly striving to improve, constantly learning, working to be the best that you can be. Leaders bring high energy, commitment and enthusiasm that cause others to respond positively. So you see, everyone is a leader in the way that they behave, the way they conduct themselves and the influence they have on others. Ask yourself, are you leading yourself at the highest possible level? The Thought That Counts. Self-awareness is one of the key components of personal success.
While self awareness has become increasingly popular recently, it’s by no means a new concept. Aristotle said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom”. In his book, “Emotional Intelligence”, Daniel Goleman says”Self-awareness is the ability to monitor our emotions and thoughts from moment to moment. It’s key to understanding ourselves better being at peace with who we are, and proactively managing our thoughts, emotions and behaviours.” How good are you at managing your thoughts, emotions and behaviours? Here are six critical questions to ask yourself to help you to become more self aware.
Who am I? What is my purpose? What do I want in life? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? What do I believe? There are no right or wrong answers. The truth is everyone interprets these questions in a different way. There is no end to what you need to explore to enhance your self awareness. It’s a journey, a challenge, a quest. The results depend upon you and what you do with it. It can enrich your life, and at the same time help you appreciate and accept the differences in others.
What everyone has in common is that they are unique Everyone is a minority of one, and self awareness is a great way to be the best version of you that you can be. The Thought That Counts. A strength overplayed becomes a weakness. Focusing on a weakness that’s not a strength, however, is unlikely to turn it into a strength. It’s more likely to turn something that you’re bad at into something that at best is not bad, Can a weakness ever become a strength? I’m mildly to moderately deaf.
I wear hearing aids supplied through Bolton NHS Foundation Trust. My hearing is never going to be anything other than functional and adequate at best. It was only discovered, in the last few years, that my hearing started to deteriorate over 30 years ago. Without being aware of this, I’ve had to compensate for lower levels of hearing by subtly and unconsciously changing my behaviour over time. I concentrate and look closely at the person when they’re speaking to me and I’ve learnt to look beyond the words used picking up on emotional cues and body language to help me understand better. People tell me that I’m a good listener, although I’m not so sure.
My deafness (my weakness) has given me strengths in many other areas that makes me the man that I am and helps me to work as an emotional intelligence coach, trainer and facilitator. So, concentrating and focusing too much on weaknesses may mean that we overlook other strengths that we have that may shape us to develop in a multitude of different ways. I’m Robin Hills from Ei4Change, Empowering your Emotional Management.
